It Is My Job To Exist As...

...a shining beacon of hope in the heartland


By: Juli Eklund

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Sunday, 26-Nov-2006 11:11 Email | Share | Bookmark
Trouble Goin' Down

WTF? GDO? MF! Snakes...on a Plane
Trouble...goin' down.
Trouble...in this town.
What happened to your little baby?
What happened to your little girl?
She said she'd always love you.
In your heart-shaped world.

Actually the trouble goin' down has to do with a garage door opener. Specifically the garage door opener at my friend Bonnie's. She's in China for the next three weeks and in addition to keeping an eye on her house and serving her pride of lions, I also take refuge at her house. It's quiet. I can put the temperature wherever I like it. Everyone there is speaking to me as long as I make a point of understanding the various nuances of meow. I can turn the TV up as loud as I want as long as I don't disturb the cats, er neighbors.

So after watching "Invitation To A Suicide"*** this evening, the garage door opener---which acts up on occasion---decided to throw a full-blown hissy fit. Hissier even than the Dark Lord's hissiest of hissies. After 45 minutes of playing with the adjustments on it, I still did not have an operational garage door opener so I did what most women do in that situation. I disconnected it from the track, dropped it to the closed position, secured the vacation latch and unplugged the mother-f@#$^^.

I regret now having completed all my Christmas shopping for the B-ster. Obviously she needs a new garage door opener...

***Freakin' hysterical movie. Rent it. Rent it now.

~~~I think the GDO in the instructions stands for...........something unprintable~~~


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